Personal 104

As a human I try to be as kind & compassionate towards those who are close to me and help them through there problems, but often times I just always feel left to the side once I need the help..ajeeb.Today I'm really feeling like I only have Allah alhamdulilahh because my day hasn't been going well; I'm usually a happy person alhamdulilah but I don't know maybe it's the shaytaan making me think this but when I need help or something of that nature the people I can rely on become smaller then the amount of fingers I have on one hand, subhanAllah. Not trying to praise myself but if anything was happening to anyone of my friends I would be there for them or try to help them any way I can..I just don't feel that it's mutual you know? Maybe I need to cut some people out of my life for good because it's becoming a waste of my time to be around them and I don't benefit from some of them at all, but I do give them dawah or try to talk about deen. Wallahu Alam. I don't think I've found that friend that's the friend I am to others, which is something I wish I could find sighh. No doubt I'm so grateful to Allah that I can count on Him for anything & everything in my life. Making a change to begin by letting only Allah be my only friend & then choose the right companions on the way who Fear Allah in'sha'Allah; I'm also going to make a list of all the books to read & study thos summer =) I really can't wait in'sha'Allah. I'm done letting others think my kindness is a weakness and start caring about my priorities over others in this life & the next tabarkAllah <3