Compiled and Translated By Abbas Abu Yahya
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً
<< And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility[1] in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy[2]. >> [Room: 21]
2 -Allaah Ta’ala said:
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
<< and live with them in kindness[3]>>[4] [Nisa: 19]
3 – From Abu Hurairah -Radi Allaahu anhu- that Messenger of Allaah -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said:
دينار أنفقته في سبيل الله ، ودينار تصدقت به في رقبة ، ودينار تصدقت به على مسكين ، ودينار أنفقته على أهلك . أعظمها أجرا الذي أنفقته على أهلك
‘From the Dinar (money) that you spent in the path of Allaah, the Dinar that you spent in freeing a slave, the Dinar that you gave in charity to a needy person, and the Dinar you spent on your family, the one that is the greatest in reward is the one that you spent on your family.’[5]
4 – From Abu Hurairah -Radi Allaahu anhu- that Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said:
إن أكمل المؤمنين إيماناً أحسنهم خُلقاً، وخياركم خياركم لنسائكم
‘The most complete of the Believers in their Eemaan are those who have the best manners[6], and the best of you[7] are those who are best to their women.’[8]
5 – From ‘Amr bin al-Ahwaas from the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- who said:
أَلاَ إِنَّ لَكُمْ عَلَى نِسَائِكُمْ حَقًّا وَلِنِسَائِكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ حَقًّا
‘Indeed you have rights upon your women and they have rights upon you.’[9]6 – From Abu Hurairah -Radi Allaahu anhu- who said that the Messenger of Allaah -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said:
لا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً إِنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَرَ
‘A believing man should not hate a believing woman, if he dislikes a mannerism of hers, he will be pleased with another mannerism.’[10]7 – From Abdullaah bin Zamah -Radi Allaahu anhu- that the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said:
يعمد أحدكم فيجلد امرأته جلد العبد فلعله يضاجعها من أخر يومه
‘None of you should lash your wife[11] like the lashing of a slave, and then perhaps at night he has intercourse with her.’[12]8 – From Sa’ad bin Abi Waqqas -Radi Allaahu anhu- that the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said:
إِنَّكَ لَنْ تُنْفِقَ نَفَقَةً تَبْتَغِي بِهَا وَجْهَ اللَّهِ إِلا أُجِرْتَ عَلَيْهَا ، حَتَّى فِي اللُّقْمَةِ تَرْفَعُهَا إِلَى فِي امْرَأَتِكَ
‘Indeed you do not spend some wealth desiring the Face of Allaah except that you are rewarded for it, even for the food you place in your wife’s mouth.’[13]
9 - ‘Aeysha -Radi Allaahu anha- said:
ما ضرب صلى الله عليه وسلم بيده خادما قط و لا امرأة
‘The Messenger of Allaah -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- never ever hit[14] a servant, or a woman.’[15]
10 – Ibn Abbas -Radi Allaahu anhu- said:
‘Indeed I love to beautify myself for my wife just like I love that she beautifies herself for me.’[16]
11 – From Abdullaah bin ‘Amr -Radi Allaahu anhu- the Messenger of Allaah -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said:
كفى بالمرء إثماً أن يضيع من يقوت
‘It is sufficient as a sin upon a man that he does not take responsibility over those he is responsible for.’[17]12- From Ibn Umar -Radi Allaahu anhu- the Messenger of Allaah said:
إن أعظم الذنوب عند الله رجل تزوج امرأة فلما قضى حاجته منها طلقها وذهب بمهرها ، ورجل استعمل رجلا فذهب بأجرته ، وآخر
يقتل دابة عبثا
‘Indeed the greatest of sins to Allaah are that a man marries a woman and when he has satisfied his need from her, he divorces her and goes off with her dowry. And that a man employs another man and goes off with his salary and that a person kills his riding animal frivolously.’[18]
13- From Mu’aweeyah bin Haydah -Radi Allaahu anhu- who said:
‘I asked the Messenger of Allaah what is the right that the wife has upon one of us?
The Messenger of Allaah -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said:
أن تطعمها إذا طعمت وتكسوها إذا اكتسيت ولا تضرب الوجه ولا تقبح ولا تهجر إلا في البيت
‘That you feed her when you eat, and clothe her when you clothe yourself,[19] and do not hit her on her face and do not say may Allaah deface you,[20] and do not keep away from her except in the home[21].’[22]
The Messenger said:
حرثك ، إئت حرثك أنى شئت غير أن لا تضرب الوجه ، ولا تقبح ، ولا تهجر إلا في البيت ، وأطعم إذا طعمت ، واكس إذا اكتسيت ، كيف وقد أفضى بعضكم إلى بعض ، ( بما حل عليه)
‘She is your tilth, come to your tilth as you please, except that you do not strike her face, nor say may Allaah make you ugly, nor keep away from her except in the house, and feed her when you eat, and clothe her when you clothe yourself, and how can you not since you have gone in unto each other, except with what she has been made permissible for you.’[23]
13- From al-Miqdam bin Ma’dee Karib al-Kindi that the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- stood amongst the people and praised Allaah and exalted Him and said:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا، إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا، فَإِنَّهُنَّ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ وَخَالاتُكُمْ، إِنَّ الرَّجُلَ مِنْ أَهْلِ الْكِتَابِ يَتَزَوَّجُ الْمَرْأَةَ وَمَا تُعَلِّقُ يَدَاهَا الْخَيْطَ، فَمَا يَرْغَبُ وَاحِدٌ مِنْهُمَا عَنْ صَاحِبِهِ حَتَّى يَمُوتَا هَرَمًا
‘Indeed Allaah advices[24] you in the strongest possible terms to be good to women, indeed Allaah advices you in the strongest possible terms to be good to women, advices you in the strongest possible terms with regards to women, indeed they are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal aunts (father’s sisters) and your maternal aunts (mother’s sisters). Indeed a man from the people of the two books (Jews & Christians) marries a woman and does not hit her, each one of them continues to desire his companion until he dies in old age.’
‘Indeed it has reached me that from the evil hidden sins which Allaah has made Haraam, which are not clearly mentioned in the Qur’aan, are that a man marries a woman and when his companion becomes old and she has stayed with him for a long time, and has produced all that her womb can, then he divorces her without any reason to do so.’[25]
14 – Shaykh AbdurRahman bin Nasr as-Sa’adi (d. 1376 A.H.) said:
‘Allaah Ta’ala said regarding dealings:
<< And do not forget liberality between yourselves. >> [Baqarah: 227]
Which means, make a place for excellence and Ihsaan in your dealings. Do not take all your rights, rather make things easy and do not make them difficult, and be pardoning in buying and selling, in settling a debt and times of need. And whoever necessitates upon himself this goodness achieves a lot of good and great good. And Allaah Knows best.’[26]
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