‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud (RAA) reported that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: “Let no woman mix with another woman and then describe that woman to her husband, so that it is as if he is looking at her (so vivid or stimulating is her description).”
The wisdom behind this prohibition is that a man might become fascinated by the woman being described, so that one thing leads to another until he divorces his wife or succumbs to temptation by trying to meet and then seduce the woman that was described to him.
A woman might, albeit naively and innocently, describe a woman she met, having been impressed by her character and her beauty. Since she struck up a friendship with that woman, she is excited to tell her husband all about her, telling him more and more after each subsequent meeting. Sadly, she does not realize that, at times, the heart precedes the eyes in the process of falling in love. She might have a candid and loving relationship with her husband, and then suddenly things begin to go awry between them, but she does not know why. Then, finding an opening through which to attack, the Shaitan (the Devil) intervenes to complete the destruction of their family.
Shaitan plants the idea of trying to see that woman in the mind of the husband, and willing victim that he is, he loses no opportunity to see her and, if possible, speak to her. Not only that, but he tries to find out as much as he can about her, including her marital status, her age-and her address. Shaitan helps him to constantly strike up an image of her in his mind’s eye, so that even when he is with his wife in bed, he is imagining her. Then he begins to hate his wife, and since he needs an excuse in order to get rid of her, he finds ways to fight with her and to ascribe evil qualities to her in front of others.
This all began when his wife described the beauty of another woman to him. He might have children, but no matter: momentum has its way with him, and as he is falling to lower and lower depths, life becomes more and more unbearable. Because of financial or psychological or societal concerns, he does not outright tell his wife that he is in love with the other woman. Having to bottle up his feelings, he finds ways to create problems that work to undo the stability of his family.
Nor is it permissible in the Shari’ah for a man to describe his wife to others. At-Tinani reported the following narrative in Tuhfatul ‘Arua. Ma’bad As-Saliti had a beautiful wife named Hamidah. One day, Ma’bad received orders to join the army that was headed toward Khurasan. He left and at some point during his journey, he spoke to his companions about his wife’s beauty and about how much he loved her, so much so that he considered disobeying the ruler and fleeing from the army in order to return home. Having heard Ma’bad’s description, a man named H’ut bin Sin’an began to have feelings for Ma’bad’s wife. He said to Ma’bad, “I want to go to Basrah (which is where Ma’bad lived).” Ma’bad said, “Then I will write a letter and give it to you, so that you can give it to Hamidah.” When H’ut arrived at Basrah, he hastened to Hamidah’s home with her husband’s letter. Intent as he was to see her, he refused to give it to anyone (such as servant), saying, “I will not hand it over to anyone save her.” She then appeared before him, and he spoke to her. Some of the feelings of lust that mingled in his heart began to mingle in hers. It is needless to say that temptation increased as he visited her on a frequent basis, until finally, they ran away together. Their whereabouts remained unknown for an entire year. Then some of her family saw her and learned that she had conceived a baby. News of her situation spread, and she was apprehended by ‘Abdur-Rahman bin ‘Ubaid Al-‘Absi, who was an officer under the rule of Al-Hajjaj. After being into custody, and after her guilt had been established, Hamidah was stoned to death for the crime of adultery.
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